The struggle is real: Finding a job after graduating

I don’t think I will ever be able to describe properly how completely soul destroying it is trying to get a job. Not even a graduate job. Not even a well-paying job. Just A job. When I left University after 4 years and 2 degrees I couldn’t get any job at all. I’m not sure if I will be able to describe what I went through properly but I’m going try.

This post is a message to try and comfort those who are still looking, to warn those who still have it to come and share what I learnt from my experiences.

My first ever job was at University and I remember being absolutely crippled with anxiety I nearly didn’t go to the interview at all. It was just a summer position that looking back I ABSOLUTELY needed as I never intended to live at home again, but at the time it didn’t feel that urgent. The job interestingly turned out to be my worst nightmare. An upbeat sales pitching role where you had to be great at small talk and good at convincing people to part with their money. Weirdly I was rather good at it. I spent two summers there before I graduated and moved away to do my masters.

My masters degree was kind of my way of hiding from the world. I wasn’t ready for a real job and I was scared to try and get one. But in doing my degree, the sheer workload actually completely flipped my way of thinking and by the end I was DYING to find a job and never wanted to go back to University again.

University did make one thing very clear to me. Without work experience I was screwed unless I got lucky. So after applying for many graduate positions and internships I did manage to find a small unpaid internship at a great community interest company back home in my local area. I guess it worked out that the company focused on mental health conditions which I was very familiar with. They were looking for a Marketing Internship and I happily took it up knowing this was the vital experience I needed. Right? Wrong.

By the end of my internship I had graduated from my Masters and I was broke. I hadn’t been able to get ANY part time sales assistant or other roles to do alongside my internship and I had exactly zero money left. This is where the privilege of staying with family really showed, without them I would have been living in a box. Even living with my family and not paying anything I still was forced to apply for Job Seekers.

I won’t ever forget the day I rolled up the Job Centre and joined the queue of people waiting to go inside. I was embarrassed but also weirdly full of pride. I had a degree and I was here? I didn’t think I belonged there but life has a way of humbling you like that.

One of the worst days in my whole claiming Job Seekers experience was when I got offered an interview down in London. I didn’t have any nice interview clothes for a marketing role in London though and so the Job Centre gave me some vouchers that could be used in certain stores. One of them was Matalan. So off I popped to my local Matalan to start trying on outfits and…nothing fit. I’m quite short and big and all the skirts were too tight and too long. I ended up completely breaking down in the dressing room to my sister on the phone and sacked off the interview completely.

It was this time I wasn’t just angry with the world but also specific family members. These family members had the means to support me rather than me having to degrade myself at the Job Centre but they chose not to. I knew with an absolute certainty I would rather send money to my siblings than them ever having to go experience signing on at the Job Centre.

The second worst day of my JSA experience was when I had to go sign on..on Valentine’s Day. This made me acutely aware I didn’t have anything in life and I cried all the way home. I finally managed to stop claiming JSA when I got a part-time position at Poundland. I thought I would be their temporarily while I applied for my dream job. I thought wrong.

By the time I started working at Poundland I was in deep with book blogging, I’d started my Etsy shop and was growing my bookstagram and posting on my blog. I was determined to show that I used my own initiative and had continued to do stuff relevant to my degree and interests even while unemployed. I was also volunteering one day a week at the same company I interned for doing their social media. After 4 years of University I had some idea of what I wanted to do but book blogging showed me what my dream job would be – publishing so I started to apply.

At first I didn’t hear anything but then one day I got an interview as a Marketing Executive at Hodder & Stoughton. It was then I thought dreams really did come true. I swapped shifts at work and went all the way down to London and guys I was DYING inside. I was so nervous I just sat in the huge glass lobby praying I didn’t look as anxious as I felt. Despite this I thought my interview had gone really well and I remember telling my friend I would cry if I got the job as it was my dream.

I didn’t get it. Not enough experience they said.

I had two more interviews in publishing and didn’t get those either. I went down to the London Book Fair for their seminars on how to get into publishing, I showed my CV to recruiters, I spoke to some people already employed in publishing to try and improve my cover letter. Nothing worked.

I continued to work at Poundland and apply for jobs every week. I had a few more interviews but never for publishing again. I worked at Poundland so long I got promoted to Store Supervisor. This made me feel a bit better, I hadn’t been stuck in a dead-end retail job. I had been promoted and given more responsibility. Surely this would help me to get a job? No.

At this point my life had started to change. I met someone and the idea of moving away to London became more and more distant. I developed new dreams of working for myself and creating my own business focused on book merch. I just needed to get a job. A good job that would enable me to save. I thought being Store Supervisor would be okay for a while.

But then things at Poundland started to go downhill. My manager basically hated me, she didn’t think I worked fast enough and at this point I was still on probation. I was terrified I’d be forced to take a demotion or be fired and I was scared how this would look to employers. One week I got the flu really bad and I was completely bed bound, I knew my manager would be pissed but I couldn’t move. I phoned in sick and she was not happy as she was “on her own” and was now going to have to do a longer shift. I got off the phone and cried. I was so stressed I just started applying for jobs even though I was ill.

I ended up getting an interview at a company that I didn’t really understand. That weird pride humiliation hit when I realised I’d be interviewed by a girl I knew at college. You see she had left university before graduating and yet here I was still looking for a job whilst she had been in marketing for 2 years. I went to the interview, at this point I was used to never getting the job so I didn’t really plan ahead on what would happen if I did get offered the role. I was given some tasks to do at home which I spent hours on every night for a week before submitting and the next week I got a phone call offering me the role. My now manager was concerned about the commute but I was so grateful for the position I told her a bus ride wasn’t going to stop me.

Nearly a year after I started what I thought would be a temporary job at Poundland I got to finally hand in my notice. I was so excited to be able to show to her that she was wrong and guys Karma is definitely real because less than a month later the entire store closed down. She had treated me so badly I was pretty happy she would be out of a job. She was a terrible manager.

So now I’m working as a Marketing Executive. I get up everyday at 5:30am to get my bus at 6:30am. I arrive at work for 8:30am and finish at 5:00pm to get home by 6:30pm. I am at work essentially 12 hours a day. This was the job I had waited for, I had worked so hard for but guys I am tired. All the time. When I’m not working I’m trying to design stuff for my shop, take pictures for bookstagram, write blog posts, read, see my boyfriend, see my friends, see my family and I am exhausted. You can’t have everything in life but it was bitter sweet finding out the job I had wanted for so long is affecting my physical and mental health.

I just want this to be clear. I was MISERABLE claiming job seekers, my soul was completely destroyed working in Poundland, my Manager hating me was just another kick while I was down and now I am tired all the time and this is actually the best place I’ve been since leaving University.

This job challenges me everyday but at least I know that I’m growing as a person and an employee. I get to use my mind and my creativity and that’s better than mindlessly shifting stock around a shop floor. But I also know I can’t continue doing 12 hour days indefinitely, something will have to give eventually.

I don’t think I did anything special to finally get the graduate job I was looking for. I was in the right place at the right time and really I just got lucky. Lucky my manager made me so upset I applied for just about any job I found, lucky that my workplace needed someone quickly and lucky that pretty much everyone else in the running didn’t want the role.

It’s just luck guys and some people are luckier than others.

 

 

Book Review: Aurora Rising by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff

I’m in love with these sarcastic sociopaths and arseholes ♥️

I just finished Aurora Rising and I HATE to say it (but I will anyway) I enjoyed this a lot more than Illuminae. If (like me) you committed the most heinous of crimes and found Illuminae a bit slow…(SORRY SORRY OKAY). Maybe you thought it only really livened up when A.I.D.A.N was introduced (Everyone loves a bad boy). I PROMISE you will have no such issues with this book.

The mystery surrounding Auri will keep you reading till the very end and if somehow you find yourself losing focus the group dynamics are sure to keep you entertained.

My thoughts on each of the characters:

Tyler: Good guy, good looking likes to do the right thing. Supposed to be all about the rules but I think he only learned them all so he could break them.

Scarlett: Sassy bad bitch twin sister of Tyler. Not so good with the killing in cold blood but can offer you a sarcastic comment and empathy when you need it.

Cat: Another bad bitch whose hopelessly in love with Tyler. The voice of reason in the group for the most part.

Finian: Poor broken boy who is just wants to be loved but makes it really hard by being a massive d**k. He’s probably my fave.

Zila: The “sociopath” of the group. Likes to calculate the odds of dying whilst being shot at. She definitely has more to her than meets the eye and I can’t wait to find out more about her back story.

Kal: The space elf. Real good at the killing, needs to work on the romance.

Auri: Pulled out of cyro with a nasty habit of killing people and not remembering it. The entire story centres around her and where she comes from.

Aurora Rising is GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY X LOTR X MISTBORN and I HIGHLY recommend reading.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Book series I started but haven’t finished

I’d like to start this post by saying that I’m a notorious procrastinator and my free time is very limited. This is a very bad combo when it comes to loving and reading books. I have a tendency to start a series and then for some reason completely abandon it for a year and I can never remember how or why I didn’t finish. Hopefully this post will actually help me as I can see what I need to finish and make a start on. First off…

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Illuminae Files by Aime Kauffman and Jay Kristoff

This is the one I feel most guilty about. I loved A.I.D.A.N and apparently Gemina is the best one in the series but for some reason I just never finished reading the rest. I have pre-ordered two copies of Aurora Rising and have the arc so I’ll probably try and binge this series and that book all in one go.

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Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson

I picked this up in January and I was meaning to read the rest but then life happened and I decided to work on reading Muse of Nightmares instead. Like Illuminae I’ve been told the second book is better and after what goes down in the first book I am really curious to see where this series will go. SPOILER: The first book reads like an entire trilogy and I was GOBSMACKED with how it ended.

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Firebird Series by Claudia Gray

I read the first two books last year when I borrowed them from the library. I didn’t LOVE the books but I’ve been thinking a lot recently I really should find out how it ended. There was a really good twist in the second book that made me want to get the third but I just never did.

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The Crown’s Game by Evelyn Skye

This is another one I didn’t give a very good rating to, but I kind of liked the romance if not the dumb love triangle that was brewing. So I was interested to see how it ended but apparently not enough to pick it up a year and half later.

Comment below a book series you started but haven’t finished!

Controversial opinion: My thoughts on ARCs.

So Harper Voyager dropped a UK Arc of DarkDawn recently and it got me thinking about ARC’s. I wanted to come at this purely from a Book Blogger perspective as obviously I have no idea what goes on behind the scenes in publishing. I can only see what publishers, authors, booksellers etc openly tweet about so this is definitely more an opinion piece than a factual look at the situation.

Arcs are pretty coveted commodity within the book community and I think we all know this. ARC’s in theory have two purposes – marketing for the book through giveaways, photos, unboxings etc and increasing awareness through reviews and word of mouth recommendation.

ARC’s also act as payment. Bookbloggers get literally nothing for their time but the book they are being asked to market/review. Sometimes this is a finished copy and sometimes this is an ARC. An entire community of free marketers, publicists and consumers that exists around books and the only thing we get for the hours of reading, writing and photography is the book itself. It’s nice to get something tangible to keep for all those hours.

I think the black market that has sprung up around ARC’s changed the game. People didn’t just want ARC’s to read, but also to collect or trade and even sell. I don’t think it’s wrong for people to trade ARC’s (I’ve done it myself) but something that was already pretty sought after has become a hugely valuable commodity and now even more difficult to get.

I think now there is bad feeling and in-fighting within the book community over who gets ARC’s, why and what they end up doing with them. People hate people who request ARC’s to trade them later. People don’t like it when others use their status to get access to ARC’s to trade whilst people with less followers who would love the book are getting ignored. No one likes seeing bigger accounts getting thrown ARC’s everyday and when you know they can’t read them all.

I think something needs to change.

With the amount of ARC’s that end up for sale on ebay, it is pretty clear that more care needs to be taken when choosing who gets a copy. Huge bookstagram accounts and bloggers with massive followings shouldn’t be just getting thrown ARC’s of books they didn’t even know existed.

I can definitely understand some book bloggers frustration with the situation.

For example with the DarkDawn UK ARC, that is a hugely anticipated release and you know people will be dying to get their hands on it for whatever reason. TO BE CLEAR I love Harper Voyager. I’ve been dying to get on their blogger list for years, they pretty much publish all my favourite books. However I didn’t think it was fair to post a photo of a hugely sought after ARC and follow up immediately with “Proofs are rarer than Hen’s teeth. So don’t even try it”. If they aren’t publicly available then don’t publicly announce it? It also didn’t help seeing someone who works for Harper Voyager ask for one and immediately get told it’s on it’s way. I’m not saying this person shouldn’t get one but maybe do it in a less public way?

Situations like this can be a bit of a slap in the face. From a blogger’s perspective the ONE thing we get as some sort of payment/reward whatever for our work is the very book we talk about. No one likes to feel under valued and it feels like book bloggers are at the bottom of the food chain when it comes to getting ARC’s.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

P.S I obviously can’t speak for all bloggers and I don’t think I’m trying to, so if you’re opinion is different that’s totally cool. Arcs aren’t hugely important to me, I’ve requested a fair few and received a few and I don’t really collect them unless the cover is gorgeous. I read what I can when I can and I always make sure to take a photo for the gram.

My favourite fantasy series

I’m a big reader of fantasy, it’s pretty much all I ever read. I wanted to share some of my favourite fantasy books ignoring the obvious like Harry Potter and Game of Thrones. As we all know pretty much anyone who loves fantasy books would have picked them up at some point in their life. I can’t deny though you are going to see a lot of fan favourites on this list, but it would be a lie to suggest I’m not a basic bitch who reads every hyped book out there..

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Nevernight by Jay Kristoff

Story time: When I first read this book I read 19 pages and then just closed the book and held it. I could not stop smiling. This book was pretty much everything I ever wanted in a fantasy series. If my soul could write a book it would be something like Nevernight. I was shocked SHOCKED to go onto Goodreads after I finished reading and find out some people..dislike even hate this series? Mental.

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Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

So someone told me Six of Crows wasn’t that good and I just can’t understand why? I was a bit wary reading this as I didn’t love Shadow and Bone but wow Six of Crows is so much better. It definitely has the best slow-burn romance I’ve ever read and I think is probably responsible for reviving the band of misfits up to no good trope.

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Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor

This book is pure music. I was quite surprised how much I loved this book considering I DNF’ed Daughter of Smoke and Bone at the end. But these books are written very differently in my opinion and I just love this duology. Love it so much I dropped a serious amount of money buying the UK Hardback edition of Strange the Dreamer and Muse of Nightmares. But now I have one of my favourite books ever with pretty gold edges so I regret nothing.

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Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb

I feel like Robin Hobb just isn’t talked about enough. I am constantly raving about this series because I see a lot of fantasy lovers never picking it up. These books to me are classic fantasy, those books like Narnia that can be a bit trippy and weird? The MC is FitzChivalry and this trilogy follows his journey as he learns where he fits in Kingdom where he is the bastard son of the once heir to the throne.

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Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson

I’ve only read the first book in this series so far but I loved it. Not gonna lie I definitely glazed over all the pushing and pulling of the metals but the unique magic system can still be appreciated even if you don’t understand it that well. I love a book with amazing world-building with lots of lore and history and this series is definitely more digestible than George R.R Martin’s 10,000 banner men all with different sigils (no shade I LOVED Game of Thrones but I don’t need to know what every knights has on his banner).

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The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare

Honestly I don’t do love triangles but this series is the exception to the rule (kinda). I think I mainly loved this because I lived for that angst and Will Herondale is basically the perfect man?

I would love to hear your favourite fantasy series in the comments. I am always on the look out to spend money I don’t have on more books.

 

 

Popular Book Series I didn’t like..

I’d like to start by saying that this list is not an insult to the authors. I have other books by most of the authors mentioned that I LOVED I just didn’t particularly enjoy these and I’m going to be very honest and blunt about why.

 

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A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E Schwab

Kicking off with the one that makes people GASP. I tried really hard with this series but I GENUINELY was falling asleep reading this. People RAVE about these books but to me it just felt empty and kinda quiet. Like the world was really restricted and not built up. I was curious as to what happened to black London but not enough to keep me reading unfortunately.

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Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

So this series started off really well for me. I actually really enjoyed the first two books. Side note though: I’m very surprised these books are YA considering the pretty disturbing and graphic scene in the second book. Out of all the books I’ve ever read that scene shocked and disturbed me the most. This series went downhill for me in the final book which I was totally bored by and skimmed to the end. However I LOVE Strange the Dreamer and if you struggled with this don’t skip that series.

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Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

So this is an interesting one on my list because I have actually read the entire series. I was never fussed about Aelin, Rowan was basically furniture for all the personality he had and Chaol (imo) was just straight up racist/prejudiced. The only reason I kept reading was because of Manon who is one of my favourite fictional characters ever and I’m praying she gets her own spin off.

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Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes

So this book is compared to Game of thrones a lot which is a big mistake. If you wanna know how much less world-building and characterisation there is in this book compared to Game of Thrones take a look at the map. Huge landmass with three blobs for cities and that’s it. This book was just bland for me and didn’t offer anything new or interesting to keep reading.

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Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake

I think Joseph gives anyone enough of a reason to hate this series but the insta-love doesn’t help either. My issue with this book mainly was pacing, a lot of nonsense goes down and the big climaxes fell flat. I thought I was intrigued enough to continue the series but it turns out I wasn’t.

What I have learnt about myself is that I don’t tend to enjoy popular YA fantasy that much. The YA fantasy I have enjoyed has actually turned out to be New Adult with a few exceptions.

That book series I recommend to everyone.

It is criminal some of the books that get completely ignored compared to some that make millions. I think everyone has that one book/book series that they absolutely adored but no one has ever heard of.

For me that book series is Amelia Peabody’s Murder Mysteries by Elizabeth Peters and I recommend it to pretty much everyone all the time.

This series spans an epic 19 books and roughly 30 years but I promise you, you will never get bored. If I had to describe this series I’d say it’s a bit like The Mummy meets Downton Abbey but any nice garden tea party is ruined by a murder.

The series starts in 1890s and is mainly set in Egypt and England. To describe the whole series is difficult without spoilers but there’s a lot of in-depth Egyptology, archaeology and a whole lot of crimes committed.

My reasons why you should read this series:

Egyptology/History

The author had a PHD in Egyptology guys. If you LOVE archaeology, ancient history or and Egyptology in general then picking up these books is definitely worth it. There’s a lot to be learnt even if the focus isn’t on modern day but how it was done at the turn of the century.

Romance

This series has hands down two of the best romances I’ve ever read. The kinda romances that are equal partnerships. If you love romance then you can definitely pick up this series.

The perfect book boyfriend

When you think ideal fictional man most people come up with Rhysand or Will Herondale etc etc. Everyone is wrong because the best example of the perfect book boyfriend is in these books.

Mystery

If you love guessing who dunnit? And why these books are perfect for you. There’s always some crime being committed by someone or other. Trying to guess who the murderer is, is one of the best parts about reading this series.

Let me know if you do decide to buy this series or your thoughts if you’ve read it already